Wisdom for Those Concerned

I’ve always been labeled as an extrovert. Seen as the center of attention and the life of the party. Throughout my career and social habits, I have been placed in positions of great social responsibility. Requiring interpersonal skills beyond your typical expectations. Expected to lead others, network, control conversations and steer interest toward a certain motive or simply make people laugh. The outgoing one. I’ve even had individuals say they wish they could be as outgoing as I am. These are acquired, practiced skills that couldn’t be any farther from the truth.

I. Am. An. Introvert.

Imagine being an introvert known as an extrovert, you hate people and you hate reading. All you want to do is close yourself off in a room and be a recluse. Only wanting to associate with a select group. The days of the “Great Covid-19” couldn’t have been any easier. You mean I have to stay away from people? People are going to actively avoid me? Oh man, is Christmas early this year? Some people were clawing at the walls, but I was at peace. The closer society got back to normal, the more irritated I became.

I’ve hated reading as long as I can remember. I’ve come to realize I now love reading. I’ve always loved writing, but definitely not reading. Is that old age or was I just reading the wrong things? Reading is your best friend. It doesn’t talk back or adhere to social norms. It doesn’t expect anything back from what it offers. It also offers a wealth of information, it just depends on your capacity to digest knowledge.

I’m currently surrounded by some of the most annoying people I’ve ever met in my entire life. I’ve never avoided human contact more than now. The lack of respect for others and utter disregard for their surroundings makes my blood boil. The moment I can escape the cesspool of surface level pleasantries, I’m gone. Silence is my solace. Knowledge is my currency. I read, study, and prepare for my future everyday. I’m intrigued by a greater understanding of concepts and less concerned with semantics.

I feel my mind expanding as I explore new subjects and fields contrary to my normal habits and obligations. I always remember my Dad explaining that things like music and language force you to use different parts of your brain. Your brain is a muscle. Unused, it atrophies and withers away. The more you exercise, the less straining mental intense activity becomes. Hence why strenuous mental activity is so exhausting.

My thoughts run rampant with creativity as I continue my studies and observe my surroundings. My mind pulses with satisfaction as it becomes easier to recall previous events, experiences and knowledge. Was my bad memory an out of shape mind? Is that a thing?

Self-awareness is wisdom. The wisdom to understand oneself and others.

I have found what I call, “a learning high”. Feels familiar. Much like a runner’s high. Looks like I’ve got plenty more running to do.

For the introverts out there,

I get it.